Gaming addiction seems straightforward to outsiders; reduce excessive gaming behaviors for a better life. Anyone who deals with video game addiction knows it’s more than that. There are so many things unspoken that stop gaming addicts from making positive changes in their lives. These walls are invisible, and they are not easily rid of.

Imagine the walls of the cyber prison as the boundaries of an electric fence. What’s beyond the walls are visible, and there is nothing stopping someone from exiting through the boundaries; however, it will be very uncomfortable and painful if someone tries to cross. What are these invisible walls that cause so much pain to video game addicts?

Uncertainty – Gaming addicts stick to what they know. The virtual world they inhabit are comprised of rules that make it much simpler to navigate than the real world, and they feel they hold a lot more control with little risk. The uncertainty of interactions, and lack of progression is frightening and/or boring.

Vulnerability – Screens provides a distance between the gaming addict and other people. Gamers will say they are socializing while in the game; however, there is much more safety when talking behind a screen as an avatar. Being in-person and experiencing another person’s presence can be terrifying because there is nothing the gaming addict can hide behind. Being “found out” as ineffective or unworthy is a major concern for gaming addicts as well as other addicts.

Honesty – Gamers are excellent procrastinators. Whether it be relationships, homework, or their own feelings gamers know how to dodge things that are stress-inducing. The name of the game is to be distracted long enough so that the stressors are out of sight and out of mind. Dishonesty is effective at getting problems to leave, but they never really go away. Eventually, the problems will comeback just reminding the gamer about how much they are lacking. If they ever come out of the gaming fog, they will have to come face-to-face with themselves, the good and the bad, and that is intolerable for them.

Expectations – As gaming addicts continue to use their time to play games, the more aware they become of the expectations they aren’t living up to. Unfortunately, although some of the expectations come from the people around them, most of the expectations are in their own head. The anxiety and sadness that comes from not living up to what they could be is devastating.

The ceiling that holds the four walls in place is the fantasy gaming world they put in place themselves as a distraction and for protection. As long as the 4 walls stay intact, the false ceiling will remain to overshadow reality. It takes a lot to break through the walls, but it isn’t impossible. Each wall can be dealt with.

How To Break The 4 Walls

Resetting Realistic Expectations – Expectations need to shift especially if they are unattainable at the time, AND IT’S OKAY TO NOT HAVE MET CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS. There’s a good chance they were set too high in the first place. If there is any worry about letting other people down, that needs to change as well. People pleasing reinforces BAD EXPECTATIONS, and there are plenty of bad expectations that need to be dispelled. It’s important to put the control of life back into the gaming addict’s hands.

Calling Things What They Are – Habits of consistent lying are just that; bad habits. Although morality is tied to honesty, it is more than just an “in-the-moment” decision of right or wrong. It is a habitual behavior that needs to be correctly trained. Gaming addicts have enough shame about what they do (although they may not admit it). Shaming them more for being dishonest is not helpful and will reinforce another wall in the cyber prison. The more a video game addict can be honest with themselves, the more they can make good decisions about their gaming habits moving forward.

Opening Up The Vault – By definition, vulnerability puts the person in a state of exposure. The vulnerability gaming addicts fear the most is in relationship with another person. Much of it comes from feeling like the other person may judge them or expose the gaming addict as not being good enough. And… it’s all true! That fear is shared by everyone. However, through consistent relationship and trust building, this fear can be alleviated.  Like being honest, this is a habit that needs to be trained, and experienced in a safe manner. Social skills training, breakout small groups, and general trust can help the vault doors to open once again.

Using Uncertainty To Your Advantage – Diving into the unknown seems like a terrible thing to try. All of the problems, bad situations, and unpredictable tragedies just aren’t worth it. To those who just agreed with that sentiment, it is clear the future looks bleak to you. Why doesn’t the unknown future also spell out opportunity, prosperity, and encouragement? What negatives clouds cast a shadow over the future? Gaming addicts use excuses (some of them farfetched) to prove why they will never take risks, unless they are 100% certain of the outcome, and even then, may not proceed. Having trust takes time to understand and implement. Things may turn out poorly, but knowing you will still be intact and you can still continue on takes experience. Gaming addicts need to try taking small risks; activities that won’t be too anxiety provoking. From there, they can continue increasing the “danger” with each new risk. The importance is knowing that uncertainty can be shaped as long there is an active participant to shape it.